Bad News on the Way

Just got a threatening phone call. Took the call cause I was expecting one that was work related. Instead it was some snippy asshole guy wanting to "confirm" my personal information. I will confirm nothing to some idiot that will not tell me who they are or what the call is about. When he got nowhere he said, "when they are done with you, homeless will be the least of your worries." He then concluded by saying, "expect a letter in the mail." <sigh> Great.

Six years ago before all this bs with my son stated l was struggling, (like any single mother), but getting by. Bills were paid, even paying off some of the bs my ex put in my name, I had a place to live & had managed to scrape enough together to twice try to divorce the idiot.  

These days, not so much. I live in my studio that is essentially a warehouse storage space. There is no thing as extra money beyond basics. Meaning also my credit rating as gone to hell, so I will never get out of this grave. If someone finds I am living here I am out on the street, litterly. I have to go as far as sneaking my food & laundry in the building, not cooking when it can be smelled & never turing on a light in the eve. Now I am being threatened with no clue as to why & no means to fight whatever is decided against me. I am sure it is someone that wants money, but I have nothing and if they take what I make I am done.

I am really worn out of existing this way. It is not really living. I really need something positive to happen. A studio I can live in & use (meaning organize & purge), an art residency, a real boyfriend that sometimes holds me & takes me out for coffee, a real job. Something.  Anything. Just any one positive thing that makes a quality of life difference. Something that would give me hope and a tiny bit of  future. 

I am going to give it a year. After that who knows. I will probably hang in there just for my old cat....I love him. But after that, with nothing, when he goes, I go. I am just too worn out by all the bs to live this way forever.