Yesterday  my husband,  (whom after 11 1/2 years of being separated still will not grant me a divorce ), prompted my son into saying he does not want to see me ever again.

I am not handling that too well.
I only get to see my son a few weeks in the summer, and now not ever.

That idiot has now taken everything. Gone is my past and my future  and daily I have to live in the consequences of his mental illness and extreme misogynistic abuse. He gets the rewards, I get the consequences.

There is no love in my life. Not even anyone to share dinner with or give me a hug when I need it.

Not sure what I have left to live for now. Do know for damn sure, I am going to refuse the heart surgery that the cardiologist  says I apparently need and which is long overdue. Seriously, I am disposable, I get that. I do not have a life so there is no need to prolong it.