My life has become this endless stream of little index cards. Writing, sorting, arranging, hundreds of little 3x5 cards defining my life. Everything I own, everything I do, everywhere I go and everyone with whom I have contact, all on the chaos of little cards.
The problem with being homeless is that everyone wants to bully you into living life their way. The reasoning is that they are not homeless and therefore successful, so they are doing life "right" and I just am doing it "wrong". Part of that "wrong" is owning anything. There is this general feeling that if you are homeless you should not have any possessions. For years I have been bullied by lawyers, social workers, my son's psychiatrist, my husband, my so called "friends" and more to give a complete inventory of everything I own over to them, so that they can decide what I am allowed to keep. The biggest bully of all is my mother, she just will not quit. This summer she pushed, threatened and daily demeaned me until I finally gave in.
Today I was shopping for more stacks of index cards in the back to school sales. I stopped to take a pic of an index card file box and its price for a future reference. This is what I ended up with instead. I am not sure if this is a pic showing the chaos of back to school shoppers or one of the insanity my life has become.
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